Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
Last May when this blog was started, I wanted to hold this one until Thanksgiving, but it is the best group prayer “activity” I have been involved in, so I put it in the first week. It is worth repeating:
A Thanksgiving Circle is simple and has always lifted the spirits of the group. Try it with your family or other gathering tomorrow.
Stand in a circle. The leader starts and briefly states something they are thankful for. Examples: “Thank you, Lord, for the great weather today,” “Thanks for getting me a job,” “Thank you for being able to pray together freely.” Then the next person states a thanks. Go around the circle ten times. The leader keeps track and closes when done.
Listen to others’ prayers, and you will get more ideas of things you are thankful for.
You don’t have to hold hands, but if you do, it gives a person a chance to “pass” without saying anything – a hand squeeze means “please skip me this time.”
Don’t worry about repeats.
I have done this with groups of 5-10. Not sure it would work as well with too big a group.
The current world record for the number of complete cycles through the group is 10.
Two sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean, looking for something to do. They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes. Bob, the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and ate everything on the ship.
A little while later, they came up to another ship, again hauling potatoes. Bob again capsizes the ship and eats everything onboard.
The third ship they found was also hauling potatoes and Bob once again capsized it and ate everything.
Finally his buddy Bill asked him, “Why do you keep tipping over those ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?”
Bob replied, “I wish I hadn’t, but I just can’t help myself once I start. Everyone knows you can’t eat just one potato ship.”
The last All Prime day of the month (and the year!) is 11/29/13.
The other cool date this week is today, 11/24/13. 24 – 11 = 13
Quotes from baseball player Dan Quisenberry, a side-arm left-handed relief pitcher for the Kansas City Royals from 1979-1988:
“It really helps to be stupid if you’re a relief pitcher. You can’t be thinking about too many things. You can’t be on the mound worrying about a 35-inning streak where you haven’t given up a double to a left-handed batter or something. Relief pitchers have to get into a zone of their own. I just hope I’m stupid enough.”
“There is no homework.”
– On being asked what was the best thing about baseball.
“I found a delivery in my flaw.”
– On his pitching problems.
“He didn’t sound like a baseball player. He said things like ‘Nevertheless’ and “If, in fact.’”
– On Milwaukee’s Ted Simmons
“I want to thank all the pitchers who couldn’t go nine innings, and Manager Dick Howser, who wouldn’t let them.”
– On winning the AL Fireman of the Year Award for 1982.
“I’ve seen the future and it’s much like the present, only longer.”
A dazzling fall panorama brightened the early morning view out my office window a couple of weeks ago. Ominous, dark clouds were the backdrop in the west. The sun, just rising, was selectively sparkling on two remarkable yellow trees a couple of blocks away.
In front and beneath those trees, thick white frost covered the dark roof of the neighbor’s house. The burning bushes at our back fence had turned a spectacular cranberry that set off the bright green grass and dark evergreen bushes in the neighbor’s yard. Right in front of me, the black and grey trunk of our huge Norwegian Maple framed the picture on the left.
It was the sort of picture one likes to see in a jigsaw puzzle – distinct, well-defined patches of different but complementary and extraordinary colors. If I had been quicker and a bit more tech-savvy, I could have taken a photo, but the sun went behind a cloud and the colors lost their brilliance. Besides, I was more intrigued by the sequence of events God had set up to make that brief picture possible:
– We planted the burning bushes across the back fence when we moved in twenty-five years ago.
– The green grass and bushes were planted two summers ago by the industrious resident who has since moved away
– Five days prior, there were still too many leaves on the maple tree to allow the sun to brighten the burning bushes
– Three days after, all the leaves on the maple AND on the burning bushes were lying pale on the ground
– Five minutes earlier, the sun had not come up yet
– An hour later, the sun had burned the frost off the neighbor’s roof
– Ten seconds before and ten seconds after, the sun was behind a cloud.
And, I turned around from working at my desk just in time to catch a glimpse.
Thanks, God.
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.
Therefore, he took out a card and wrote “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, “Genesis 3:10.” Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”
Genesis 3:10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.”
We used the first question and answer of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (plus Proof Texts) to start our Executive Committee meeting last week. It allowed scripture to lead into prayer, everyone participated, and all were called to pray. It took about ten minutes.
Read the Question and Answer. Then each person reads the next passage form the Proof Text list and suggests how it applies to and supports the catechism statements.
Once the passages are done, pray as led. With this first question, especially pray that God would be glorified in the meeting.
Westminster Shorter Catechism Question and Answer #1
Q 1: What is the chief end of man?
A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.
Proof Texts:
Psalm 86.9
Isaiah 60.21
Romans 11.36
1 Corinthians 6.20
1 Corinthians 10.31
Revelation 4.11
Psalm 16.5-11
Psalm 144.15
Isaiah 12.2
Luke 2.10
Philippians 4.4
Revelation 21.3-4
Since this Catechism has 107 Questions, you can lead the prayers of your weekly meetings for more than two years! Think about it.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”