Quotes from baseball player Dan Quisenberry, a side-arm left-handed relief pitcher for the Kansas City Royals from 1979-1988:

 “It really helps to be stupid if you’re a relief pitcher.  You can’t be thinking about too many things.  You can’t be on the mound worrying about a 35-inning streak where you haven’t given up a double to a left-handed batter or something.  Relief pitchers have to get into a zone of their own.  I just hope I’m stupid enough.”

 “There is no homework.” 

–       On being asked what was the best thing about baseball.

 

“I found a delivery in my flaw.”

–       On his pitching problems.

 

“He didn’t sound like a baseball player.  He said things like ‘Nevertheless’ and “If, in fact.’”

–       On Milwaukee’s Ted Simmons

 

“I want to thank all the pitchers who couldn’t go nine innings, and Manager Dick Howser, who wouldn’t let them.”

–       On winning the AL Fireman of the Year Award for 1982.

 

“I’ve seen the future and it’s much like the present, only longer.”