What did Tarzan say when he saw all the elephants coming?
“Here come the elephants!”
What did Tarzan say when he saw all the elephants coming with sunglasses on?
Nothin’. He didn’t recognize ’em.
Thief on the Cross
The Romans were very good at crucifixions. Once you were on the “tree” you would be dead soon. Jesus was crucified along with two really bad guys. Luke 23.39-43 tells of the conversation between the robbers while on their own crosses. One bad guy was angry at Jesus. He echoed mockers in the crowd watching the spectacle who wanted the supposed messiah to come down off that pole and save himself and show he truly was the Son of God. The mockers did not expect it to happen; they were just making fun of the man.
But the other bad guy had some understanding of who Jesus really was and some hope in what he might really do. He rebuked his partner’s bad attitude. He recognized his own sinful nature, admitting that he was getting what he deserved. He recognized the righteousness of Jesus and knew He did not deserve this punishment. He must have been impressed that Jesus could ask His father to forgive those who were treating him unfairly. And, in asking for mercy, he acknowledged Jesus as his king, saying “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” He heard what some consider to be the most glorious promise in the Bible, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.”
The good news is that no matter how close you are to death or how you have lived your life to-date, God can call you to himself just like Jesus attracted the thief on the cross to himself. Right now, it is not too late to ask for salvation.
This Week’s Cool Number Dates 05/26/13 to 06/01/13
Sunday, May 26
>June sneaks in at the end of the week! June was packed with cool dates last year because 6 and 12 fit together nicely. But, this year is sparse because 6 and 13 do not play well together.
>For the third week in a row, there are two All Prime days: 05/29/13 and 05/31/13.
If we say “at least” two All Prime days, then this is the fifth week in a row, since the week beginning 05/05/13 (el Cinco de Mayo) had THREE All Prime Days.
Sorry, no more All Prime days until July.
Los Tres
With a title like Los Tres, this has to be about numbers, right? It is, but maybe not what you think.
Last night at Los Tres Amigos, we ordered two fountain drinks, a taco salad, and a chimichanga. The total bill was 22.22
Go to Lou and Harry’s and order a regular Greek Chicken salad and a hamburger combo. The cost will be 16.17, which is cool. But then you add a nice take-out tip of $1 to make the total 17.17. Two fun amounts on one bill.
You can go order the same things and check it out, at least until the menu or prices change!
Kid Names
These riddles are all about kids’ names. I filled in the first one as an example. Answers are at the bottom
Who is the kid laying on the floor? MATT
Who is the kid floating in the pool?
Who is the kid hanging on the wall?
Who is the kid next to the hole in the ground?
Who is the kid IN the hole in the ground?
Who is the other kid in the hole?
Who is the kid in the pile of leaves?
Who is the tall, thin kid next to the suit of armor?
Who is the kid who used to be an artist?
Answers: Matt, Bob, Art, Doug, Phil, Barry, Russell, Lance, Drew
Look for more next week!
A Good Servant of Jesus
2 Corinthians 11.22-29
Paul writes his second letter to the Corinthians partly to defend himself against the snobbish charges that he does not measure up to other “super-apostles” who have come to town. He says they may think of him as a fool or as weak, but “The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, he is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying,” when he rattles off this list of reasons why even as a weak fool, he is a better servant of Christ.
Paul has:
– Far greater labors
– Far more imprisonments
– Countless beatings, and often near death
– Five times received the forty lashes less one
– Three times been beaten with rods
– Once been stoned
– Three times shipwrecked, a night and a day adrift at sea
– Been in danger from rivers, robbers, his own people, Gentiles
– Been In danger in the city, in the wilderness, at sea
– Been In danger from false brothers
– Endured toil and hardship, spent many a sleepless night
– Endured hunger and thirst, often without food
– Endured cold and exposure
– Endured daily pressure of anxiety for all the churches
Wow. Staying up late at a youth group lock-in doesn’t even qualify on this guy’s list.
Korean Style Prayer
What we heard about Korean Style Prayer was simply that everyone prays out loud at the same time. So we did it with the High School Youth Group, with the Discipleship Groups of college students that we hosted, and with various small groups we were in. The prayer times were pretty noisy, since most people would speak loudly to avoid hearing what other people were praying. The effort of concentrating on prayer with distractions all around probably has some benefits.
Well, Linda, one of the college students, graduated and went to Korea to teach English as a Second Language. She attended a church with real Koreans who practiced real Korean style prayer. Everyone prayed out loud, but very quietly. The room was filled with a holy murmur.
I think what we were doing was really American style prayer. Fortunately , God hears us no matter how loudly we speak.
Ahab
Even the worst of sinners can repent and be saved. Ahab, one of the bad kings of Israel, was a real creep. 1 Kings 21.25 tells us that no one “sold himself to do evil in the sight of the Lord like Ahab.” He was a spineless, selfish, and self-indulgent schemer. His wife, the infamous Jezebel, was even worse. She not only brought Baal worship to Israel, she tried to wipe out the worship of Yahweh.
Their “crowning” crime was to arrange for false accusations and murder of the innocent Naboth (and later, Naboth’s heirs) just so they could take control of neighbor Naboth’s vineyard and turn it into a vegetable garden. God sent the prophet Elijah to pronounce condemnation on Ahab and Jezebel – an awful, just, vindicating punishment that included dogs eating some heirs and birds of the air eating others. They deserved it.
But Ahab repented. He did the standard forgiveness-asking undertakings of the times: tore his clothes, covered himself with ashes, fasted, put on sackcloth. God was impressed enough with the humility shown by Ahab that he postponed the punishment. (1Kings 21.27-29) We don’t know how long or how real the repentance was; we do know Ahab’s life ended three years later in battle and “dogs licked up his blood” that was washed out of the chariot where he was wounded (1Kings22.38). This was “according to the word of the LORD that he had spoken.”
Like Naboth, Jesus Christ was also falsely accused by scheming people with evil intent. Many of the Pharisees, clerics, and Sadducees formed an unholy alliance to see how they could get rid of Him. Like God had pardoned Ahab, Jesus showed a forgiving spirit at his crucifixion, when he asked His Father to “forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
The good news is that no matter how bad we have been, how malicious our misdeeds, how abysmal our actions, God’s mercy and forgiveness can cover our sin if we repent and believe.
Spy Plane
An unmanned spy plane that can fly the same way frontwards and backwards is a palindrone.
Steadfast Love
We used this prayer activity at a Consistory meeting on 12/12/12. (In honor of the date, we had three dozen delicious “Herwaldt” cookies. )
We dedicate the first hour of the Consistory meeting to prayer, so we did all three “rounds” listed below. Rounds one and three can stand alone; Round 2 is helped by doing Round 1. The first round takes 5-10 minutes. The second round took twenty minutes; the length depends on how many people are at the meeting. We spent twenty minutes with the round three small group interactions, and closed with the large group prayer time. Each person had a one page copy of the instructions, with room to write responses to Rounds 2 and 3.
Psalm 136 has the famous refrain after each verse: “for his steadfast love endures forever”
Round 1: Go around the room, each consecutively reading the first part of a verse, and all responding with the refrain: “for his steadfast love endures forever”
Round 2: Take a few minutes to write down your personal add-on verses. Note Psalm 136 extols God for who he is, both as creator and sustainer. Go around the room twice, each person saying one of their verses, and all responding with the refrain. Note: you might want to have four or five “verses” ready, in case you don’t want to repeat what others have said.
Examples:
“To Him whose blood set us free from the tyranny of the devil.” for his steadfast love endures forever…
“We praise our triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” for his steadfast love endures forever…
“To the one who assures us of eternal life.” for his steadfast love endures forever…
Round 3: God’s steadfast love is all about Him keeping His promises. Break into small groups of 3-4. Each person will share an instance/event/God sighting from their life emphasizing how God kept His promise. To prompt your memories, a partial list of God’s promises follows (supplied by Pastor Ben F.):
– God works all things together for our good (Romans 8.28)
– Whatever you give, He will give more (Malachi 3.10; Mark 10.29-30)
– Eternal life (John 3.16)
– Blessings, love, redemption, wisdom, inheritance, hope, Holy Spirit and more (Ephesians 1)
– Will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13.5, Joshua 1.5)
– Answers our prayers; hears our prayers (John 15.7, Romans 8.26)
– Disciplines us because he loves us (Hebrews 12.3-11)
– Keeps us (Psalm 121)
– Hope (Hebrews 6.13-20)
– Wisdom (James 1.5-6)
– Forgives us when we confess our sins (1 John 1.9)
Close in large group with prayers of thanksgiving.
A. Knapp for That 