Slow Learners

In the book of Mark, Jesus often teaches large crowds.  Twice, he and his disciples found themselves far from any village, surrounded by a multitude of hungry people.  Both times, Jesus had the disciples feed the people by multiplying the loaves and fishes so that all had enough, and basketfuls were left over. (Mark 6:32-44; 8:1-10).  It is understandable that the disciples had no idea what to do the first time, but one wonders why they were so perplexed the second time.  Unfortunately, we have seen ourselves act the same way…

 In the fall of 1989, Diane and I had taken steps toward moving to a new house. The catalyst was the closing of the Holmes Street School across the street from our Hazel Street house, requiring first Linnea, and now Jesse, to ride a bus to Mount Hope School on the other side of the Red Cedar River.  By moving closer to Mount Hope School, the kids could walk to the Elementary, and when they moved up to Pattengill Middle School, they could take a bus. The walk to Pattengill from Hazel Street was not a pleasant prospect. 

 I was reluctant to make the move.  Since A K Consulting was still a new company I felt we could make the old house payment but I was worried about a larger one.  Diane was confident.  Her dad, Tom Clark, gave encouragement, “you do good work, you will be able to make money and make the payments.”

 We realize NOW that part of God’s larger purpose was to build our trust in Him.  Events happened quickly as we found a house on Sunnyside.  The day the family explored the new house was magical – it seemed so big; Linnea announced the room above the garage would be hers; we could see opportunities in the back yard and with updates to the house.  We enjoyed meeting the owner, who had just moved to an assisted living facility.  We found out later that a younger childless couple toured the house right after us, and their strategy was to mention all the things they would have to change.  The other couple offered more money, but Mrs. Small chose to sell to us because “the house needed to have children in it” and “that other couple had been mean to me about the state of the house.”

 We put our house for sale and at the first open house received a full price offer.  We contacted a bank and started the financing process.  Things were sailing along.  Then a series of setbacks tested whether we would rely on God or on ourselves.

 First, the buyers of our Hazel Street house had already put down a deposit but were backing out of the purchase.  They said they could not live in that neighborhood.  What would we do? What would we do?  We worried and made phone calls and worried some more.  After a day, we decided to stop and pray together about the problem.  Shortly after we prayed, our realtor called, said she had phoned a couple who left their name at the initial open house.  They had made an offer, for MORE than the original price!  We accepted and thanked God.  In the process, we received part of the deposit from the first couple.  Bonus.

 Second, we soon got a call from the bank.  They were requiring information about Diane’s father’s business that we did not feel we should have to provide.  Without that information, the bank would not provide a mortgage.  So, we worried and made phone calls and worried some more, for about half a day.  Then we decided to stop and pray together about the problem.  Shortly after we prayed, the realtor called and said she had located a different bank who would process the loan quickly. We started the paperwork and thanked the Lord.  In switching banks, we received a lower interest rate!  Bonus.

 Third, word of these first two incidents reached Mrs. Small’s son. He had not been happy that his mother sold the house for less than she could have gotten. The fact that we were having trouble frustrated him because he imagined we would not be able to close on time.  We heard that he was threatening to renege on the offer and sell to someone else.  So we worried and made phone calls and worried some more, for about an hour. Then we decided to stop and pray together about the problem. Immediately, the realtor called, who had spoken to Mr. Small and explained the situation.  Once he understood that everything was moving in the right direction, he was satisfied.  We were relieved and thanked God.

 Those three incidents always remind us of the advantages of turning immediately to God for help.  Even though we often forget in the heat of the moment, we know that He alone is able to do things more than we can ask or imagine.  In fact, during the move He was working on another blessing we had not asked about…

 A year before the move, I had done some work for a company from California, through a friend in Detroit that I had worked with previously.  I was not paid when the work was completed.  I asked several times and after a number of months with no response realized the money was not likely to show up.  We considered legal action, but the California company was far away, we had no idea how to proceed, and the legal bills would likely exceed the money owed. The amount was left on the books as an accounts receivable item.

 A week after moving in, a check arrived unexpectedly in the mail, from the company in California.  I called to ask about it and was told that they had sold several subsidiaries, had some cash available, and would like to pay this amount for several months until the debt was covered.  I agreed joyfully and we thanked God.  The amount they were paying was the difference between our old and new house payments! Super Bonus!

 

BOO, MOO, FOO

You can say “EW” if you need to

 

1. Knock-Knock

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo Who?

Don’t cry, it’s just a joke

 

2. Knock-Knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting Cow.

Inter…  MOO!  rupting cow… MOO! who?

 

3. The action begins:

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Hoppin’ through the forest

Scoopin’ up the field mice

and boppin’ ‘em on the head

 The good fairy comes down and says,

“Little Bunny Foo Foo

I don’t want to see you

Scoopin’ up the field mice

and boppin’ ‘em on the head”

 “If you do it again, I will turn you into a goon.”

 Unable to stop himself:

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Hoppin’ through the forest

Scoopin’ up the field mice

and boppin’ ‘em on the head

 

The good fairy comes down and turns Little Bunny Foo Foo into a goon.

 

The moral of the story:

Hare today, goon tomorrow

 

The Bronze Serpent

I used these verses in a brief message at my mom’s funeral in 2001.

 John 3.16 is probably the most famous gospel Bible verse ever.  One Halloween when the kids were young, my costume was a rainbow wig and a white sign with black letters: John 3.16.  Everyone recognized the zealot who managed to get his message broadcast at every big sporting event.  You don’t see that guy so much anymore. I don’t know if he quit or was refused admittance or the TV people stopped showing him like they stopped showing streakers, but he was famous for a time.  The verse is still famous – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

 It turns out that John 3.14-15 gives a vibrant answer to the question of whether you believe or not.  “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.”  The context is the episode in Numbers 21.4-9, where God punished the whining and complaining Israelites with “fiery” poisonous snakes. After the people repented, God told Moses the remedy – Moses would attach a bronze serpent to a pole and whoever looked at it would live. For the bitten Israelites, they had to believe enough – in what Moses told them that God had told him – to look at the snake on the pole.  Some looked and lived; some didn’t and died.

 Your “Do I believe?” test is not as simple as gazing at a specific relic, but it is clear there will be some action involved;  you need to be doing something.   A good start is making use of the “means of grace”:

        Read the Bible regularly

        Pray

        Worship with other believers

        Take Communion

        Confess sins

 If these are unclear, identify a Christian and talk to him/her about who Jesus is and what all these actions are about.

 

How Did I Miss Fibonacci?

No cool number days this week. 

But, I just realized there is a whole set of numbers out there I have overlooked – the Fibonacci sequence.  It is easy but elegant.  Start with 0 and 1.  Add them together.  Always add the latest two numbers together to get the next one.  The first 10 numbers in the sequence are:

        0 , 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34

(see that 0+1=1; 1+1=2; 1+2=3; 2+3=5…)

Quiz: what is the next number?

For our cool number dates, I am sorry I missed 05/08/13.  Just a month ago, there were three sequential Fibonacci numbers!  Pretty rare… next one is not until 2021, and that is the last one of this century!

 Fortunately, in August there will be some month/day/year combinations that are all Fibonacci, just not presented sequentially. They start with 08/01/13 and end with 08/21/13.  To see how many others there are, check back here on the Sundays from July 28 through August 18. 

Look for a wonderful reference to Fibonacci numbers in the movie “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.”

 

 

 

Quiz Answer: 55

Even More Kid Names

Here are some more riddles about kids’ names.

Who are the three kids on the birdhouse?

Recall that the kid in the pile of leaves is Russell.

    What is his name 12 months later?

    What is his name 10,000 years later?

Who are the two kids above the window?

Who are the two kids on the grill?

Who is the kid in the tanning salon?

Who is the kid swimming in the ocean?

Who is the kid with three eyes?

Who is the kid in the legislature trying to get things done?

 

 

 

Answers: Robin, Jay, and Ren; Pete; Cole; Curt and Rod; Patty and Frank; Ray; Finn; Seymour; Bill 

That’s all I got.  Please leave a comment if you have more…

 

Why Humor, Delight, Glory?

Explaining the subtitle for the blog:

I spent some time several years ago looking for more joy – the kind that I FELT as a kid when Christmas was coming or when I landed on a really good team in a college pickup basketball game or receiving a letter from my fiancé.  All those events were fleeting.  Where is some longer-lasting JOY?

Maybe I found it in a variety of places. Telling jokes and finding cool number patterns is fun and funny.    Our family has wonderful times laughing and remembering the wacky events of our lives; the comical side of most events tends to come out in the retelling. HUMOR is a good start.

I heard from several sources that preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to yourself every day is a good way to revive the joy that every Christian should feel.  Writing, meditating on, and telling brief summaries of the gospel does indeed remind one of deeper truths; finding lists in the Bible appeals to my structure and systems side; contemplating what God has done and can do revives childlike wonder.  DELIGHT is a good way to react.

The hope is that the joyful progression from humor to delight, as described in personal experiences, Bible readings, and group prayer, will continue in bringing GLORY to the awesome, fearful, and magnificent One True God of the universe.

Regular Glorifying Work

We have an “Executive Committee” at University Reformed Church, which is the subset of Consistory charged with handling most administrative matters.  We spend the first fifteen or twenty minutes of our monthly evening meetings in some sort of devotion / Bible Study / Prayer activity.  We find this time helps us shake off the cares of the day and prepare to address the items on the agenda.

This simple question and direction started our meeting in March.  The six of us each had a sheet of paper to write answers and take notes on others’ responses.

“List 10 things we do as Consistory, Diaconate, and Elder Board that glorify God.”

And “Be ready to thank and praise the LORD for the privilege of these opportunities.”

After a few minutes of reflection, each person shared unique responses.  A portion of the combined list included teaching, witnessing, serve sacraments, serve others, be good husbands, be good parents, encourage and build others up, pray, make disciples, worship, be good stewards, listen, counsel, grieve and rejoice with others, discipline, give, and shepherd.

The prayer time started with the list and covered many of the agenda items.

Beware Those with Itching Ears

At the end of 2 Timothy, Paul is wrapping up his instructions to his assistant, impressing on him the need to continue in what he had learned and remember from whom he had  believed it.

2Timothy 4:1-5  “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

These verses start with a Wallop – Timothy was charged in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus!

The purpose is a Warning – people will grow tired of the true gospel and will follow their “itching ears” to messages and a way of life that are easier for them.

Paul lists activities the wise, godly leader will pursue to combat budding heresy:

          Preach the word

          Be ready in season and out of season

          Reprove, rebuke, exhort with complete patience and teaching

          Be sober-minded

          Endure suffering

          Do the work of an evangelist

          Fulfill your ministry

Good advice then, and good advice now.

Angel In Ohio

 Sometimes an angel walks in and out of your life before you know it.  One summer we took Diane’s family’s wonderful big silver Buick on a cross country tour.  Linnea was still a toddler; we had family to visit in Connecticut and friends in Boston.  We turned the pages on our AAA TripTik and headed East on Interstate Toll Road 80 across the top of Ohio.  We pulled in to one of those service plazas that make sure you stay on the toll road so they can charge you the right amount when you finally exit, and I calmly set up a near disaster.    

 I had been driving.  I opened the trunk to get into the cooler; set the keys IN the cooler while I pulled out a soda (it might have been a pop; I can’t remember what they call the stuff in Ohio), some sandwiches and veggies.  Then I closed the cooler and closed the trunk.  Oops.  Where are those keys?  The car doors were open, but the keys were locked in the trunk.  Not just in the trunk, but in the cooler in the trunk.  Argghhh. 

 We tried pushing the yellow plastic unlabeled trunk opener button, located inside the glove compartment.  Repeatedly.  One of the things I liked about my newer big Buick was that the trunk opened when you pressed the inconspicuous Trunk button, whether or not the ignition was turned on.  Unfortunately for us, that yellow button only worked in older cars if the engine was on or at least the ignition switch was in the on position; this required the key that was in the trunk.  We tried going in through the back seat – we could see the metal frame blocking our path.  We tried pulling the trunk open with our hands – it sounds dumb, but we did not have many options.  We wished we had brought an extra set of keys. 

 The service station people offered to call the State Police; “I think they have a special tool to get into car trunks.”  It was so cool, encouraging, and uplifting when the police car rolled up and the officer, wearing regulation dark sun glasses, emerged and said he has the special tool in his trunk.   He pops  open the boot (he had the key to his trunk!), reaches in, and pulls out a CLOTHES HANGER!  “Uhh, will that work on the trunk?”   “Oh,” he says, “I thought it was the door.  Sorry, I can’t help you. “ Then he just drove away.  Discouragement, disappointment, and incredulity were left behind by the confident defender of the people whose hanger was not the right tool for the job.

 Diane picked up Linnea and the sandwiches and said, “we are just going to go over under that shade tree, have a little lunch, and pray for an angel.”  I paced; I grumbled; I walked back and forth to the service station; I tried calling people.  There were no cell phones in those days; only pay phones.  Nobody was open on a Saturday. 

 I was weighing four options.  First, we could try getting a locksmith, who were all closed at this time on Saturday and the phone book had no after hour numbers to call. Second, we could contact a Buick dealership; they must have a record of what key would fit our trunk.  They weren’t open either.  Third, we could call Diane’s parents and ask them to bring their extra keys to Ohio.  They were three hours away.  Fourth, we could sit there until shops re-opened on Monday.  Our sandwiches were almost gone already. None of these options were very appealing. 

 We were just about to call the Clarks when the angel, disguised as an older gentleman, strolled by and asked what the problem was.  After a quick explanation (it does not take long to say the keys are locked in the trunk), he asked three questions: 

 “Is the car locked?” No. 

“Do you have a button inside the car to pop open the trunk?”  Yes, but it doesn’t work if the ignition is not on.

“Do you have a long piece of wire?”  Huh?

 The last question was unexpected. It turns out this angel was an engineer who knew that you can pop the trunk by shorting the circuit between the yellow button and the car battery.   The service people were happy to sell me a large coil of wire.  The angel opened the hood, cut a piece of the wire, peeled off the insulation, hooked one end to the battery and touched the other to the screw on the side of the yellow button.  POP!  What a glorious sound.

 The keys were retrieved. We thanked the angel profusely, offering sandwiches, soda, and even animal  crackers.  He declined our offer, said he was glad to help, but he needed to get back to Grand Rapids after vacation.  This is another reason why cell phones were invented – so you can take pictures of the angels that help you at turnpike rest areas.