Snails

A snail went into a new car showroom and bought a new car.  “I want the fastest car you have, painted white with a big red ‘S’ on the side.”

The salesman said, “OK, but why the unique paint job?”

“I am tired of hearing people say, “look at that slow snail.”  Now they will say, “Look at that escargot!”

Pray Through Lists

The Bible is full of wonderful, meaningful, illustrative, enlightening lists. Here are just a few examples (and look in this blog’s Holy Lists category for more!):

          Ten commandments (Deuteronomy 5.6-21)

          Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5.22-23)

          Churches that got letter in Revelation (Revelation 2-3)

          Things to think about in Philippians (Philippians 4.8-9)

          Spiritual Gifts (1 Corinthians 12.1-11; Romans 12.3-8)

          Hall of Faith (Hebrews 11)

          Beatitudes (Matthew 5.3-11)

          Characteristics of godly wisdom (James 3.17-18)

          Armor of God (Ephesians 6.10-20)

          Paul’s servant characteristics (2 Corinthians 11.22-29)

 

The prayer activity:

1.Have each person or small group pick a list, write it out, and answer the following:

-What does the list cover / what is the background?

-Why is the list worth knowing?

-Which item(s) stand out to you today?

-How does the list help you pray?

 

2.When done, each person/group should be ready to

-Tell their answers

-Use the list when praying

 

Jesus Opens Eyes

In the early 1980s the consistory at the University Reformed Church read a book by South Korean pastor Cho on how his church grew to be the largest in the world.  He was looking for people with enough time, flexibility, and money to do the Lord’s work. The answer to his prayer turned out to be housewives who organized and ran small groups out of their homes. The prayer phrase stuck with me. At the time, I was working in New Hudson, Michigan a one hour drive away from home. I was making enough money to support our current lifestyle, but the drive time put a major crimp in the time and flexibility portions of the equation.

I prayed for a couple of years to find that job with enough time, flexibility, and money to do the Lord’s work. I never really did anything about finding such a job, but I prayed regularly. The first thing that happened in response to the prayer was that I got fired (really more like laid off, but “fired” is more dramatic). I realized my prayer had not been specific enough about job transition.

We were nearing the end of our severance pay when I received a call from my friend  in Grand Rapids, a Data Manager for a sister company to the one I had been fired from. We had worked together on several projects, and he had a proposal. “I have a data project I need to have done. I can’t hire you but I would be able to contract with you to complete this project. Are you interested and available?” It sounded scary but I knew where Grand Rapids was and I trusted my friend.  He turned out to be a great help in setting up a sole-proprietorship.

A couple of months later, I contacted a headhunter who sent me to a Lansing company with a research project they wanted completed on a contract basis. The work would require several weeks of nearly full-time effort, so I needed to check with my Grand Rapids friend. When I outlined the situation to him, he was unexpectedly ecstatic. “This is great. The work here is almost done, and I can’t afford to pay you for more. I was worried about breaking the news to you.”

The director of the Lansing project gave my name to other Local companies, and I landed a short contract at one of them.  Another friend had heard of the work I had done in Grand Rapids, and offered some contract work at the Lansing location. I started a database project for my father-in-law’s company. I was now juggling several part-time projects and had less time available to look for full-time work.

Then Diane and I had an epiphanal conversation in the van on our way home from a birthday party with her family in Jackson. Two separate conversations had occurred. I talked with my father-in-law Tom about the work I was doing for Fab-Alloy. He encouraged me that I was doing good work, and said, “I may regret this but I need to tell you that you should raise your rates. Your good work is worth more than what you are charging. We pay someone to set up our computers, and they charge more than twice what you do.” What an encouragement!

Diane, on the other hand, had a much harder conversation with her mom and sisters about my work situation. They wanted to know, “is Allan going to get a real job?”  Diane didn’t have an answer, and so on the way home she asked tearfully, “Are you going to get a real job?” That’s when it hit me – self-employed contracting work was the answer to my prayer. I had plenty of time and flexibility to do the Lord’s work, and I was making enough money to pay all our bills.  Not only that, but I had learned enough about contracts, taxes, billing, bank accounts, and the other company requirements to continue indefinitely; I had picked up those skills a little at a time. 

For over a year God had set up the conversations and the timing of contracts to start new work just as old work was finishing.  I now had a couple of paying clients and some leads on others.  The answer to Diane’s question was “No”, and the response to God was, “thank you very much.”

I feel very sheepish that it took me so long to realize this answer to prayer. It helps me understand the two guys on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24 who were walking along, talking and complaining to Jesus, and not recognizing him. I know from experience sometimes God breaks in to help otherwise “blind” people to understand what’s going on.

So what is God’s work?  At the beginning, I needed to be a good father and husband; Diane and I were in charge of the Children’s Church ministry; and I was on the Board of Elders at church.  Over time, we moved with the kids to Youth Ministry and the college ministry at church.  Working at home has had so many bonuses, from scheduling workmen and meetings outside the office, to delivering Meals on Wheels at lunch time, to making lunches or attending school activities with the kids, and being home when they arrived after school. When Diane started teaching, I could be the home anchor for everyone, sending them off in the morning and greeting in the afternoon.  I could schedule vacations or days off as needed.  And steady work has allowed generous giving.

I never intended to be self-employed, I have no “marketing” skills other than making business cards, and yet God’s answer to a simple prayer has been to provide contracting work for twenty-five years.

 

Yogi Berra Quotes

“Baseball is ninety percent mental.  The other half is physical.”

“If the people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s going to stop them.”

“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

While explaining why the sun made Yankee Stadium’s left field difficult to play during day games in October – “It gets later early out here.”

“Slump?  I ain’t in no slump.  I just ain’t hitting.”

Bored In Heaven?

Have you ever worried that heaven might be really uninteresting?  Lots of singing and pretty things, angels and other creatures crying, “Holy, holy, holy” all the time.  Good food and no pain and all.  But what do you do for excitement?

Twice in the last week I have heard or read concerns about the quality of life in an envisioned heaven.

From the song “Broken White Line” by Kris Delmhorst, about her friend who died too early:   “And I hope that you won’t rest in peace because that would bore you right to tears”

From the book Forever Rumpole ( p187), a collection of humorous short stories about an English criminal defense barrister: “It seems to me that a world without evil might possibly be a damned dull world – or an undammed dull world, perhaps I should say – and it would certainly be a world which would leave Rumpole without an occupation.”

To combat the concern, remember two key concepts about heaven vis-à-vis life here on earth.

First, the curse of sin (Genesis 3.14-19) has us all discombobulated.  All the people, all our relationships and work, all of creation, all our senses are affected negatively. We don’t perceive reality as well as Adam and Eve did before the Fall.   We can’t even imagine the splendor and sumptuousness when sin is abolished in heaven.

Second, God’s glory and grandeur are more than we can bear right now. When Isaiah (Isaiah 6), John (Revelation 1), and others caught just a glimpse of God in heaven, they had to fall on their knees in fear and awe.  Paul prays for his friends to get to know God better (Ephesians 1.16), partly because our time here on earth is prep time to get ready for the beauty and brilliance, the wisdom and wonder of knowing the LORD fully in heaven.

The two concepts are summarized, somewhat cryptically, in 1 Corinthians 13.12: “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.”

Discussion Starters and Exits

One of the hardest things in being a witness of the gospel is the opening remark to get a discussion started. Not a problem for Philip in Acts 8; he had an appointment set up by an angel.  He is told to go south to the road, then to jump on the running board of the chariot going by. Maybe to this point Philip was just being obedient, but as soon as he sees the Ethiopian eunuch in the chariot reading verses from Isaiah, the intent is clear. Philip asks the Ethiopian if he understands the passage, and the eunuch admits he needs guidance.  The eunuch asks who Isaiah is talking about.  Philip then has the opportunity to tell the “good news about Jesus.”  The Holy Spirit works in the man’s heart, he commits to Jesus, he sees water and asks to be baptized.

What do we learn about witnessing?  Be obedient. Look for context clues; try to find out what the “witnessee” is thinking about. You might not start with Isaiah but be ready to explain the gospel from many different starting points.  Expect the Holy Spirit to prepare the situation, give you words to say, and work in hearts.   And don’t neglect closing the deal – seek a commitment.

You may think Philip’s event is not possible anymore, but such things happen more than we expect. I recently talked to my friend Justin, back from several months in China.  He showed a picture of the man who ran up to and asked Justin if he could answer some questions about Jesus!

You also probably don’t need to think a lot about how to get OUT of a gospel conversation, but Philip certainly did have a unique exit method – the Spirit carried him away, and he found himself at Azotus, wherever that is. The eunuch did not mind – he went away rejoicing and presumably started churches in Ethiopia.  Philip was none the worse for the experience – he kept preaching the gospel in all the towns he went through.

Cool Repeating Number Dates

Hobbits have much to commend them, including the celebration of half-birthdays – the date six months after (or before) your real birthday.  It turns out my half birthday is May 5.  AND, my 55th half-birthday was 05-05-05!  I did not plan that.

Diane and I have our anniversary on September 9.  Our 27th (3-cubed) anniversary was on 09-09-99 (all those 9s, each of which is 3-squared).  We also celebrated our 37th anniversary on 09-09-09. The 37 does not quite fit the pattern, but it is a prime number – always worth looking for.  I did not plan that one either; it was Diane’s choice.

I also did not plan for open-heart surgery to have my aortic valve replaced on October 10, 2000.  The cardiologist said it should be done right away since he was worried about sudden death syndrome, and I was not into that at all. The result is that new valve turned 10 on 10-10-10.  The valve shared the date with Jacob DeYoung, who turned five that day.  I don’t think his parents planned that either, since his dad delivered him in the parking lot outside the hospital.

The one cool repeating number date event I did plan was the Elevens party on Friday, November 11, 2011.  My siblings and several friends arrived to watch the MSU Spartans play basketball on an aircraft carrier, take a wonderful quiz about fascinating facts of elevens, and try to stay awake until 11:11 PM. Sister Cindy had the unplanned part – her favorite team, the St Louis Cardinals, had just won the franchise’s eleventh World Series, having been 11 games behind earlier in the season and having won eleven playoff games on the way to the championship. She provided commemorative t-shirts.

Sorry, I got nothin’ for the other 8 repeat number dates this century, although I heard there were a record-setting number of weddings on Saturday, 07-07-07.

Travel Limerick

A man from the Isle of Wight

could travel faster than light.

He left one day,

in a relative way,

And returned on the preceding night. 

 

 

 

Not really a joke, but I find it clever and sort of funny.