Vocals

 I. Can.  Make.  The.  Little. Voice.  In.  Your.  Head. Take. Pauses.

 

Some people have a way with words.  Others not have way.

 

“Who said that?” – anonymous

 

Everything is easier said than done.  Except talking.

Foggy

I was in downtown New Orleans, near the French Quarter, for a conference last week.  The streets were narrow, the houses had upper floor balconies, the river wound through it, hookers and homeless people were on the streets at all hours, the trolleys were special – all these were anticipated. 

I had heard about Southern Hospitality but was still surprised at the pleasant and friendly manner of the natives I ran into. Linnea and Diane had suggested Beignets – deep-fried pastry with powdered sugar on top; these were delicious, as advertised (see below).  I was pleased for a couple of unexpected opportunities to pray for people in our group.

But the weirdest, most unforeseen happening was walking out of the air-conditioned hotel into the sultry 90 degree heat and having my glasses fog up! This was the opposite of Michigan fogginess, which only happens when you come inside from the frosty winter weather.

Beignets

Animal Arithmetic

The flood ends, and Noah tells all the animals to leave.  “Go forth and multiply,” he says.

All the animals leave except for two snakes that lag behind. 

Noah asks them why they haven’t left.

“We can’t multiply.  We’re adders.”

Diaconate Qualifications

Deacons are expected to meet some rigorous qualifications.  For, says 1 Timothy 3.13, “those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.”  The qualifications:

-Dignified

-Not double-tongued

-Not addicted to much wine

-Not greedy for dishonest gain

-Hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience

-Let them be tested first

-Husband of one wife who must be dignified, not a slanderer, sober-minded, faithful in all things

-Manage children well

-Manage their household well

Fumbler

Marv Throneberry, New York Mets first baseman, was well known as a terrible defender.  He attended a birthday party for his manager, Casey Stengel.  When Casey was presented with a large cake, Marv pouted and said, ‘My birthday was last week.  Why didn’t somebody give me a cake?”

Casey said, “We would have, but we was afraid you’d drop it!”

Show Them Jesus

I have been reading an inspiring book aimed at helping Sunday School teachers plug the good news of Jesus Christ into every class and Bible Study they lead.  These paragraphs are from Chapter 5 of Show Them Jesus, by Jack Klumpenhower:

 

                The Bible is one epic story about God saving his people.  We can’t rightly understand any part of it unless we understand that context.  This epic story centers on the person and work of Jesus.  If we cut individual stories off from the Bible’s central story arc about Jesus, we miss the main thing the Bible wants to say – and fashion Bible stories that aren’t biblical.

                The Bible is the word of God because it’s about the WOrd, Jesus.  We’re sons of God because we’re in the Son, also Jesus.  We must never bypass Jesus when applying the Bible to our lives.  To do so fits neither the Bible nor us.

                When Jesus explained to this disciples how all the Bible is about him, he said, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem” (Luke 24:46-47).  Not only is the whole Bible about Jesus, but Jesus says it’s more specifically all about the good news – his death and resurrection, and repentance and forgiveness of sin.  All Bible paths lead there.

Cool Number Dates – 9/14/14-9/20/14

If you waded  through last week’s discussions of levels of infinity, then this week’s Half-Back day (9/19/14) will seem very simple.  Remember that Half-Back Days are named after the retirees who move from northern states (like Michigan, Pennsylvania, New York, and Wisconsin) to Florida, but then find the climate too warm and move half-way back to more temperate states like Tennessee and North Carolina. 

With that in mind, see how you can count 10 from 9 to 19 (month to day) and then count 5 – half-way – back from 19 to 14.

Troubled

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s negativity.

Guitarists fret over everything.

I’m a disappointment in your grammar.

I hope one day to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

I never finish anyth

 

Careful What You Ask For

Numbers 11-17 covers an awkward period in Israel’s history when they are homesick for their former slave lifestyle and do not yet trust Moses or the God who guides him and them.  The most famous incident involves the twelve spies sent to explore the Promised Land and the fear that ten of them had for the people of the new country.  Their fear touched the Israelites deeply, causing then to disobey God’s direction.  In addition Miriam and Aaron oppose Moses; the people grumble about the food, and the Levites rebel.

God’s responses are all miraculous: Leprosy, plagues, the earth swallows up dissenters, and fire flashes out.  All these underscore the LORD’s might and his intent for the tribes to understand what he claims in Numbers 15.41 – “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God: I am the LORD your God.”

Possibly the weirdest reaction to the people’s protesting was the quail dinner supplied for those with a craving for meat in chapter 11.  They were already tired of the abundant but just-enough supply of manna and they actually wept when they remembered their former life – just the good parts of fish and vegetables, not the back-breaking brick making. “Give us meat!” sounds like a fraternity anthem.

Moses relayed God’s response that they would have quail to eat ‘until it comes out at your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you, because you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before him, saying, ’Why did we come out of Egypt?’”  When Moses questions the logistics of the fowl endeavor, we hear the famous response “Is the LORD’s hand shortened?”

As promised, God whips up a Westerly wind and brings birds in from the sea, dropping them around the camp to a height of two cubits (about three feet).  But those with the craving were struck with a plague ‘while the meat was yet between their teeth.’  Like all the heavy responses, the offenders were punished, the righteous (?) bystanders were spared and everyone knew the LORD was in charge.