This one requires some knowledge of the Periodic Table.  Hint – Sodium Chloride is NaCl ( My dad the chemical engineer used to ask us to pass the Knackle when he wanted salt).  The joke:

 

Do you know any good jokes about Sodium?

 

Na. 

 

 

Thanks for sending this one along, Diane.

 

 

 

Keep the dream alive.  Hit the snooze button.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow

iTired.  There’s a nap for that

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest… (Proverbs 6.10)

Did you hear about that new indie band called 999 Megabytes?  Probably not, because they don’t have any gigs yet.

What does an orthodontist do during an earthquake?

 

She braces herself!

Reggie Jackson was inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame in 1993.  These quotes show a bit of arrogance and a sense of humor.  (Note: The Gold Glove in baseball goes to the best fielder at each position; Reggie Jackson was primarily a hitter.)

“Fans don’t boo nobodies”

“I think he likes me.” – On California Angels owner Gene Autry signing him to a large contract

“The only reason I don’t like playing in the World Series is I can’t watch myself play.”

“I was reminded that when we lose and I strike out, a billion people in China don’t care.”

“The only way I’m going to win a Gold Glove is with a can of spray paint.”

When you’ve played this game for 10 years, gone to bat 7,000 times and gotten 2,000 hits, do you know what that really means?  If means you’ve gone zero for 5,000!”

 

Taken from Baseball’s Greatest Quotations, by Paul Dickson

 

Why are the middle ages sometimes called the dark ages?

Because they had so many knights.

Why did Dopey take a box of crayons into the bedroom?

Because Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.

If Captain Jim’s freighter picked up 60 million tons of ore in Marquette, and lost 3% of it per Great Lake on his way to Buffalo, how massive was Captain Jim’s post-Erie-ore?

 

Thanks to Frazz (6-6-14)

 

I understand the dangers of speeding. 

But who is strictly enforcing the outcome?

The original: Keep Calm and Carry On.

Romaine calm and Carrot On

Keep calm and ring Carson to bring tea

Keep calm and OMG!  Run!!