A barbershop in town put up a sign deriding the fancy salon down the street. It said, “Why pay forty dollars? We give haircuts for $20.”
The salon got even by putting up a sign of its own – “We repair $20 haircuts.”
Clean Jokes
T-shirt Puzzler
Ts’i mahnu uterna ot twan ot geifur hingts uto.
Unfortunate Sequence
Knock-Knock
Who’s There?
Ether
Ether Who?
Ether Bunny
Knock-Knock
Who’s There?
Notha
Notha Who?
Notha Ether Bunny
Knock-Knock
Who’s There?
Stella
Stella Who?
Stella Notha Ether Bunny
Knock-Knock
Who’s There?
Cargo
Cargo Who?
Cargo Beep-Beep and Run Over all those poor Ether Bunnies
Polite Algebra
Man 1: “How much is 5q plus 5q?”
Man 2: “10q”
Man 1: “You’re welcome.”
Musicians
What did Mozart and Beethoven turn into when they died?
Decomposers
Stress?
The headmaster of a fancy boarding school was lecturing his students on etiquette. “ In moments of stress or agitation, you must count to twenty before you speak up.”
One student raised his hand: “Nineteen, twenty, your pants are on fire!”
Social T-shirts
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him from Facebook.
My favorite social media platform is called “talking”
I just want to be the kind of person my online friends think I am.
You read my shirt – that’s enough social interaction for today.
Impressive Education
A new bank employee was counting money rapidly and the bank president was impressed. “Where did you learn your math?”
The employee said, “Yale”
“That’s great. And what’s your name?”
“Yim Yohnson.”
Horsey Baseball
During spring training, a horse approached the manager and said he wanted a try out for the team. Knowing all the holes on his team, the manager figures he has nothing to lose. He told the horse to grab a bat and take a few swings. No matter what the pitcher threw, the horse smashed it. He hit it out of the park without even trying.
The manager is now more interested. He told the horse to get a glove and field some ground balls. The horse was flawless; nothing could get past him. Really excited now, the manager said, “All right, get on first base. Let’s see how fast you can run.”
The horse answers, “Run? If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby!”
Vocals
I. Can. Make. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Take. Pauses.
Some people have a way with words. Others not have way.
“Who said that?” – anonymous
Everything is easier said than done. Except talking.
A. Knapp for That 